MyRye.com's social scene columnist Pamela Baur tell us if you can find love in 60 seconds. Ready, set, go:
Is it possible? Yes it is.
When asked by myrye.com to attend a singles social event at the Rye Bar and Grille called “How to find love in 60 seconds”, I was half reluctant and totally curious about what this evening was going to be like. The event was a first for Rye Bar and Grille. There was a small group in attendance, mostly women and like most Thursdays there was the usual gathering of “manthers” and “cougars” prowling on the 
lower level at the bar. The evening event was led by Brian Howie – author, relationship expert and founder of The Better Class. Interesting this guy Brain, handsome 38-year-old man with a successful career and charismatic demeanor, a relationship expert and is surprisingly single…(more research being collected here).
Brian’s perspective started out a little something like this:
- Men are simple (not jerks), women are complicated (not crazy) – so ladies, stop being so complicated and for god sakes, don’t screw it up!
- Cinderella is a liar! News Flash men are not Prince Charming so stop thinking the perfect one will just show up!
- Take on the mentality when looking at a new opportunity “why this WILL work” rather than “why this Won't work. Leave the prologue we script from our relationship baggage at the door and learn to start fresh!
So, in these first ten minutes of the presentation which described the women as those responsible for the results of the relationship I was skeptically anticipating his next line and ready to launch my frye boot in his face! Then, I couldn’t help but agree with him. According to Brian, we as women set the bar of our expectation too low, or set it high then make excuses for bad behavior and then lower the bar, therefore don’t clearly set our boundaries for what we want. Rather than make clear requests for what would make us happy, which would save the guys from the guessing game of reading our minds, we expect for them to know what we want. No wonder we’re so often disappointed. Brian’s advises we could actually set guys up to succeed by simply being clear about what we want. He asserts guys are happy to comply and enjoy nothing more than giving us what we want. Amazing right? So simple and uncomplicated, no wonder it’s a foreign idea to women!
So, that brings us to the concept of speed dating, well on this particular occasion the ratio of ladies out weighed that of the gents, so speed dating could have been more effectively hosted downstairs at the bar, so there was not an opportunity to really give it a go.
BUT, with regards to the question can you find love in 60 seconds? The answer is simply yes. If we were all more open to the idea love in any moment is possible, it may just show up a heck of a lot more often. And when it does, all we have to do is be clear and ask for what we want.
You may be asking “How could a connection really happen that fast?!” Speaking from experience, it does happen that quickly, it’s happened for me and it’s happened in Rye. More to come on that in another post…until then, ask if you’re curious, ask Kurt about it next time you’re enjoying one of his famed cocktails at the bar, he has a habit of opening his mouth about this particular story J
The Next Love in 60 Seconds is Friday, January 15 8:00-10:00pm at Don Coqui, 115 Cedar Street New Rochelle, NY 10801. Cost is $20. Register at www.thebetterclass.com.
Pamela Baur has enjoyed living in Rye since 2007. She works as a project manager with a local entrepreneurial business development firm.
